You Don’t Have To Go Home, But You Can’t Stay Here

Everyday I take a break from my house and kids. Every day that I can. Two to three hours of nobody wanting anything. I’ve talked about it before, but right now, it’s my time to think, knit, and type. Soon, I will have to give it up or cut down on my jaunts.

The weather is turning up the temperature. I’ve already burned two or three times. A hat and sunglasses don’t really protect against the sun glaring off the water. Also, it is starting to get crowded. Blech!

I returned yesterday to find my chihuahua in labor. We were expecting it, after I felt the puppies moving earlier this week. We thought it was another phantom pregnancy, but no such luck. $2,000.00 later, we have four precious, precocious Chuggles and a ‘fixed’ momma. We had to take her to the vet E.R., as the pups were too big to come out. She came thru the surgery fine, at 0130 this morning. By 8, she had eaten, cleaned her pups, and was doing well. Try telling 6 yo twins that they have to be quiet around newborn pups- Hah!

Today, after a shortened break, it was time for me to come home. I didn’t want to. I was burning, so I knew I shouldn’t stay out. I got that silly lump in my throat that makes it hard to breathe. My eyes started closing, in the desire to escape. All the worries that I had left, jumped back on my shoulders. My knitting had gone less than perfect, and I wished that I could go anywhere that did not contain four boys, two cats, two adult dogs and four newborn puppies. Alaska might have been far enough away.

I pondered stopping by Michael’s. I heard they got some new yarn in. It has been a few months since I bought any. Then that huge vet bill flashed before my eyes. I slowed down, then sped up again. Maybe I could stop for dinner? I knew I’d be walking into a house that smelled good. Sundays, my hubby makes breakfast for dinner. He’s a great cook. I passed Subway by.I thought about pulling into the parking lot across from our housing section. Too visible, and the cops might get curious. As I pulled into our drive, I knew the inevitable was upon me. If I stayed in the drive too long, someone would come check on me.

My oldest opened the door for me, with a little tidbit of news. The twins were crowded on the floor of their bedroom, watching “Thomas the Train” videos. Hubby was sitting out back, after having worked in the yard. I wish I could say it was good to be home.

I had to force the new momma outside. I changed the liner on the puppy bed. Fed momma some food, and started a list for the store. Then, it was a load of laundry and sending my oldest to the shower. I got yelled at by the twins, when I asked them to pick up their dirty clothes. My hubby had to make a run to the store for short term supplies.

There are days, and then days, when you wish you didn’t have to go home. Today was that day for me. My excitement has waned, my worries grow bigger, and the everyday joys disappear. I watch the sunset, and I hope that tomorrow will be different.

It usually is.

(For those who don’t know what Chuggles are, they are 1/2 Chihuahua and 1/2 Puggle. Puggles are 1/2 Pug and 1/2 Beagle.)

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