In A Funk

I’m in a funk. Knitting gone wrong. House in a mess. Clutter is accumulating at twice it’s usual rate. Puppies getting too big for their britches. Hot weather and swollen limbs. Nothing but pain. Well, and poo. Lots of puppy poo.

I got a massage yesterday. Normally you walk out feeling good, but after three months of playing hookie, my back was in knots. For a few days, I will be hurting until the soreness goes away. I go back in two weeks. Maybe the rest of the knots and kinks can get worked out.

So… Why all the stress

Lukas, the oldest twin, has been having seizures. Itty bitty ones. Jamie has them on a bigger scale, but he’s diagnosed and on meds. Lukas is new to the seizure thing. Nothing showed up on the normal EEG, so he’s going to have to do a 48 hour backpack EEG.

He’ll get a few dozen wires stuck to his head and wear a backpack with a little data recorder in it, connected to the wires hooked to his head. Doesn’t sound too bad, does it? Unless you are an active 6 yr old who has better things to do. I’ll be chasing him around with the pack.

Then there’s the mysterious diagnosis on the referral. I’ll just have to wait till August to find that one out. But I have new and old meds to try out. I went of the Butran patch a week ago, but I can’t drive until I know how I will be on them. I’m phasing them (the new drugs) in this week. The kids had Superhero camp last week, and I was too paranoid to risk driving them on unknown meds. I slept most of today, because of them.

I wasn’t allowed to drive for a few years due to my epilepsy. For me, that is torture. I hate asking for help. I couldn’t ride my bike everywhere. Most bases and forts are set a ways from town, and Ft. Gordon, GA was no different. The whole base sprawls. As a single mother, it was hell. The worst thing was not driving off my stress.

I love highways, and Highway 20 is an incredible drive on nice days. Atlanta is only an hour and a half west, and Savannah (not on 20) 45 minutes East. For a girl from West Texas, trees still are a novelty.

Having only two kids at home and one surly teenager out of my hair, is supposed to be less stressful. But I called to check up on Sebastian, who is at his Gammy’s house, and my mom tells me that my Dad had an angiogram this week. His heart isn’t great, but they think the meds he’s on are doing their job. So nothing further is to be done for now. That’s what I get for waiting on my kid to call. He and Dad are doing fine, I guess. I could wish I was closer, but if wishes were horses…

Superhero Camp was a bit stressful, too. The first two days were particularly difficult. Camp was two hours every morning for a week. The boys were introduced to new people and things to do. They settled in on the third day, but I had to stay for most of the first two days. I also had to rescue Jamie from an ABA tutor, who went with physical prompts before she should have. We only touch the boys for positives- hugs and high fives. That got settled quickly.

The twins did end up having a great time. Lukas loved the capes that were made for them. Jamie did not. They loved gymnastics, flying and water play. It ended up being a wonderful experience for them. Just a wee bit stressful for me, especially after being called a ‘helicopter mom’ indirectly. Labels and more labels.

Knitting wise, I’ve been a bit stymied. I made a dress for my niece. It’s cute and lacey, but for some reason I just haven’t blocked it. It’s hard to let things go. I don’t by not finishing them. Just like the baby blanket that still needs its ends sewn in. It’s sitting on my machine. I’m working on a baby blanket, yes another one, but it is crochet.

I also have hubby’s ‘Aran’ sweater in my knitting bag. I’ve reached the front shoulders, and I think I found a mistake in the pattern directions. I worked on it tonight, but had to pull out two rows. I’m frustrated with it. I did go to catch the sunset while working on it.

The biggest knitting factor has been pain. When the heat kicked in, my hands and feet got big. Swollen. Every joint in my body let me know how unhappy they were. It makes for hard working conditions. That’s on top of all the other things that normally hurt. (Fibro myalgia, back aches, etc). Really, how much stuff do I need to put up with?

Then there’s my side job- Puppies. At ten weeks old, they are cute and cuddly. If you walk up to their pen, they sit. We’ve been working in the ‘sit’ command with treats. If you put your hand in, the little rascals are like piranhas, tugging and pushing for treats. Horrible little cads. But cute. They’ve decided playing and chewing on the poo pads is a sport. Like we don’t have enough toys in there? They are terrific and funny, running so fast they collide. I will not miss the poo though. I am having trouble putting an ad out for them. I wonder why?

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Needless to say, writing anything down has been difficult. Sometimes just moving, is difficult. Losing my muse, has been difficult too. I’m in the down and outs, but I’ll claw my way back up soon.

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